The time from August 1st 2011 until now has been very, very trying for me. I have seen pretty steep ups and downs, experienced emotional trauma, have gone through short stagnant phases that seem as long as eternity...I have withstood all this chaos and feel stronger........ because Allah has always enveloped me with love, has consoled me at night when I lie down with a broken heart, by putting me to sleep before I shed a tear and given me comforting dreams. He has loved me in my worst state and through it, has brought out my best state...
And then I heard this:
Asafalta gheray tujhe, marg ho avirudh,
(When failure surrounds you, and your way with obstacles is strewn )
Paas na ho dhan teray aur karya ho apaar,
(When you have no wealth, and your goals seem unattainable)
Bhaag mat! kar prayaas, kar prayaas! bhaag mat
(Don't run!, keep trying, Keep trying! Don't run.)
Chaahe tu hasna, kintu aankhay ho numm,
(You want to smile, but your eyes fill with tears)
Bhaag mat! kar prayaas, kar prayaas, bhaag mat
(Don't run! Keep trying, Keep trying! dont run)
Peeda hi sukh hai...Sukh hi hai peeda...
(Pain is happiness, Happiness is pain)
Haar mein hi jeet hai, jeet mein hi haar,
(In failure is sucess and sucess in failure)
kar prayaas bhaag mat,
(Keep trying, dont run!
bhaag mat kar prayaas.
(Don't run, keep trying)
Amazing how God speaks to us in different ways, thru different people...
I met a very old Sardaarji on my way back to downtown from Brampton...I had my veil on. He sat next to me and said 'Asalaam alaikum बेटा (my child)'.. We started a conversation and he started telling me of his struggles in life....eventually to be left alone in the end.. He said ' बेटा , I have property and money but my children have left me'...Then he said....'No matter what बेटा , रब को याद करते रहो....उसे भूलो मत '(Always think of God.... Don't ever forget him). I knew that one was for me...a subtle reminder that Allah wants me to think of him constantly.
Allah, My beloved.......my true beloved....and my only beloved...You have put me in a realm of uncertainty, chaos and hurt. I mount the roller coaster everyday and come home tired on every level. But I still love you...Because I can feel you molding me....sculpting away the dirt....polishing away the impurities....In pain is happiness and in happiness is pain...I understand now.
True Amber!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you this really was helpful in relieving my stress. I guess it was fate that I stumbled across this fascinating piece of literature. I will face my final examination In 3 weeks time with utmost confidence god willing. Oh.... and I never knew you were this good in English literature. As far as I can remember, apart from being a magnificent artist you could read hands and sense the aura of the people around you.
ReplyDeletePS: I don't know about the rest of my former class mates, but I'm still waiting for the tie and die cloths :P.
Best Wishes: YJB
Hello there ex student of mine :) Why hide behind your initials? I'm glad that you found relief after reading my post. it's straight from the heart.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping the tie n dye tees would be deleted from your memory by now...(dang!!)..lol...It'd be great if you give me your name so we could catch up :) love n Hugs,
Ms R :)
Its Yousef Jamal Behbehani, not sure If I would actually be remembered so I used my initials. I also thought you would go look for the tie and dyes in the drawer (if they are still there,) as we had our names on them and do some detective work yourself. I'm really busy and a little stressed, I just hope I pass this year. Till then..we'll see what happens:)
ReplyDeleteBest Regards:YJB
Yousef!! Of course I remember you! I never forget my students :) and I would look for the Tie n dye shirts if I were still in Kuwait :P I've moved to Canada for good now. :)
ReplyDeleteU will be fine Yousef. Exams are a teeny tiny part of the huge trail of trials called life..I'm sure you'll do great.
Keep in touch kiddo.
Ms R