Solitary promenades - a trail of intermittent thoughts

Seul.....solo... solitary,
my soul's soliloquy,
A never ending ebullition,
sometimes an expostulation,
No suave speech here...
Just a flurry of brazen words, feelings, thoughts...
A sudden outburst
like Hokusai's great wave,
in my world of deafening silence....
Peace... or silent noise....
a confounding cacophony......

I just had a moment there,
with my soul...
bonding....
detaching...
where lies the connection..
between the mind and the soul?
Is it the heart?
or is it?.......

Another moment gone.
whisked away by the winds of change
fading footprints in the sands of my memoires..
shall I backtrack?
Is it worth it?
or shall I create a new trail
set off for another promenade...
an unending new beginning...

I want it to stop.
Ou est la fin?

Stop!

How many more metamorphosis must I go through?
Why?
I feel like Kafka's Gregor.
a temporary, recurrent phase, I know...
Can't wait to move on.
Barriers built of moods
a diversity of negatives
a myriad facettes
lost....
(oh!) To find,
Meta....physical beauty,


in shards.

It's time to put the shards together again,
bind them with the grout of hope
and ignore the pain.
and re-create a mosaic
knowing well that those shards will break - again,
into smaller pieces....
and the cycle goes on.
The soliloquy continues.

Behold!...a dream...
like Joseph's eleven stars and the moon paying obeicense in Van Gogh's starry vision,
I try to interpret my nightly visions
and visitations
of memories
of pain

interpretations....
a form of hope.
interpretations...

untrustworthy interpretations..

and the soliloquy goes on....
a never ending interpretation
of a a dreamworld we cannot avoid...
a dreamworld we call life.